but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Is that strawberry winking at me??
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
