it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
