ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
My vagina is very pro this idea
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize