You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
