Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
