you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
we're making bets on your personal life
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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