My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
