Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
