The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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