can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
