I hate all girls vehemently.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
This baby is an asshole
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.