You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...