we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize