I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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