HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
