checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize