I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize