You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
