why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
meet me or not, i'm out of control
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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