is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
