THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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