Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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