We won't sleep together?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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