omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
