that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
