my sisters under your porch take her home
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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