hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
