well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
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