Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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