I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
