And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
