People in love make me want to vomit
honey bunches of taint.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
