I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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