Someone shit on the floor
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
