last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
