He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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