Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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