I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize