Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
she peed on how many people?
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He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
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IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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