no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
