It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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