Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
