Soap is not a condiment
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
