Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
