I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
and she was petting her beer can
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
