Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
did i walk over a car last night?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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