the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I still have a little drunk in my system
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
