omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Fuck appropriateness.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
