A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
