that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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