I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
