I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Do you still have your period?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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