i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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