We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
