Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
