I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
