I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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