You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
